Gulls, Sand, and Hot Dogs Oh My!
by ShadowSong StarGlaive The Wolf
Summary: The Super Smash Brothers are sentanced to a week... at the beach! What horrors shall await them?
1. Trouble with the Master Hand

A/N Hi there! I am here yet again, writing another fanfiction. I know they are pretty rare (blame it on my teachers, as great as they are this year…. Homework!) but this has been on me for a while, and Spring Break starts pretty soon… so enjoy!

You might understand this a slight bit more if you read Camping Trip of Doom. It's not required, but it's easier to see how I made the character personalities and all.

Disclaimer: I have lots of birthday money, but I really can't buy SSB:M with tons of Borders book cards and 35. I am accepting donations though. I'll give you your favorite character if you donate! Minimum is 2000 dollars. Take it or leave it. :crickets offer grass blades: Uh… thanks.

(Begin chapter one)

"BOWSER! WHERE ARE MY SANDALS! GIVE THEM BACK YOU CHUNK OF SHELL!" Young Link stormed down the hall, waving his sword (albeit a small one) at Bowser's room. Bowser stomped out, roaring, and swiped at the miniature warrior with massive claws. Young Link whacked out with his bow and struck Bowser's face. Spouting flame, Bowser furiously attacked Young Link, who scampered down the hall like a squirrel with a prized chestnut in his paws.

Samus, with a towel thrown loosely over her armor-clad shoulders, opened her door to walk down to the newest attachment to the Smashers mansion, a twenty-five meter pool with a hot tub, slide, and even whirlpool that spun around and often was drained to find small Smashers such as Kirby or Ness stuck to the bottom.

Opening the door, she took a deep breath-

And was promptly crashed into Bowser and Young Link, who were running at unsafe speeds through the halls. She was hurtled forward, colliding into Zelda, who stepped out of her room with clean laundry. In seconds, dresses, pants, and tights went flying onto Bowser, who's spikes caught the garments.

The four slammed into the wall, making a rather large dent in the plaster (already repaired six times by previous attempts to practice rugby courtesy to Captain Falcon and Gannondorf.

A door creaked open, and a pink-clad princess stepped out, waving a fan in her face. Turning her face to the groaning (and some smoking) group, she peered closer. "Bowser, dear, why are you wearing Zelda's lavender dress? It really isn't your color."

Bowser turned a bright red (which severely contrasted with the beige and green of his face) and attempted to rip off the offending article of clothing. A stitch snagged on his silver spikes and tore.

Zelda, livid, walloped the turtle with a speck of Din's Fire, and kicked him with her pink heels, stabbing him in the back. Young Link, seeing his chance, slipped away-

But not before filching a pair of navy blue sandals off Bowser's toes, sliding them on and streaking away, giggling like an insane person (which is not that far off the mark).

Samus quickly reached out and grabbed the little minion by his calf, dragging him back. "Hold it, squirt. Where in Master Hand's name are you going?"

He struggled, not using his full force- Samus was one of the few Smashers who did not think him as a pest but as a friend. He finally went limp, like a cat who knew they were defeated.

The stern bounty hunter asked Young Link in a "give-me-a-lie-and-you-get-a-bruise" voice. "Answer, Master Link."

Link gave her the "what?" eyebrow. "Master? Does that mean I get to rule the mansion? Did someone finally do that old glove in? When's the funeral?"

Samus swatted him with her hand. "Young Link, I asked for an ANSWER and if you DON'T GIVE me an ANSWER…"

The small Hylian started babbling.

"BowsertookmysandalsandIwantedthembacksoIcameinandaskedforthembackIdidntdoanythingillegallikelasttimeIswear-"

"ASKED?" roared Bowser, and belted Young Link in the side. Well, it came out more as a "ARGHHHH!" but you get his drift.

Young Link wriggled out of Samus's hold and skittered down the hall, leaping into Ness's room, locking the door behind him and hiding under Ness's bed.

Ness, soaking wet from the whirlpool and wearing trunks, peered under the bed. "Hiding from Bowser again?"

Young Link nodded, clutching the sandals tightly. "But he won't get me in he-"

CRUNCH. WHAM! Splintersplinter….

Bits of plaster were flung across the room as Bowser came roaring in, stomping towards the poor boy under the bed-

Only to be stopped by a tennis racket being smacked across his head. The turtle hit the floor, probably shaking the whole mansion.

Peach looked at Bowser and nodded. "Told him lavender wasn't his color!"

(Later, in the meeting room)

The Master Hand austerely glared at the assembled Smashers, who were either inspecting their fingernails or playing handheld Tetris. Hovering above the group, he said in a loud and booming voice, "Who started this?"

Falco murmured underneath his breath to Fox, "Why bother asking if he already knows the answer?"

Fox replied in a low voice. "It's an authority thing. It's meant to scare us."

Captain Falcon raised an eyebrow, and quietly said, "It just wants to make me want to steal Mario's Tetris. This might last a while here if Kokiri Kid doesn't fess up."

Young Link was becoming very interested in the cuticles of his right hand. Ness elbowed him, muttering, "Just say it was Bowser, it really was…"

Young Link peered at his index finger. "That's new… I thought I washed off that paint yesterday…"

Ness shoved his best friend. "Listen Sir Smartmouth, just say it's Bowser and we'll be back in the rec room beating Luigi at foozball…"

Luigi indignantly looked at the pair. "Humph!"

The Master Hand caught a murmur of the conversation and boomed (he's not so good at whispering) to the unfortunate pair, "DO YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY?"

Mewtwo said softly under his breath, "How many cups of coffee did he miss this morning?"

The Master Hand swerved around to glare at the Poke'mon. "I heard that!"

Mewtwo looked up defiantly. "Congratulations."

The Master Hand snarled, but Young Link finally stepped up and said, "Look, I wanted my sandals back and asked-"

A large projectile, courtesy of a certain large Kroopa, narrowly missed the young boy, who quickly finished his sentence with these last few words-"formysandalsbackandwegotinafightandthenSamusandZeldacameoutandthenPeachcameand-"

"Enough!" snapped the Master Hand. He turned to Bowser, and growled, "Keep your claws to yourself." He turned to Young Link. "Keep the sandals AWAY FROM HIM paying to fix the wall could've gotten me a hundred sandals…."

Roy looked up at the Master Hand. "What's the verdict?"

Marth, who was playing Tetris, paused for a second to ask, "Yeah, you haven't threatened bodily harm or to poison our food…. What's going on?"

Dr. Mario offered his suggestion. "Remember what happened last time he did this?"

Link, who had set down his handheld Tetris, nodded gravely. "We got sent camping."

The Master Hand glared at Marth, then relaxed. "I think I'll send you to somewhere far away," he murmured, then brightened. "How does the beach sound?"

Peach voiced her opinoin. "Isn't there sand at the beach?"

(End Chapter One)

A/N First chapter done… okay! Review, tell me what to do… I know I skipped a few characters, but they're coming!

Review!


	2. Discussions

A/N Hello there! I see I have no reviewers since I last checked, but that does not matter. I just lurve to write. Muha. Fear my kittany wrath.

Disclaimer: Still no donations… and the crickets donate squat… COME ON! I need more money to buy SSB:M…. anybody… :cries: Guess I'd better start writing… :gets whipped by muses in chintz chairs: Okay! Geez:starts writing hastily:

(Begin Chapter Two)

The Smashers left to go to their rooms… all except five, who stayed around to discuss what was going on. Peach was being talked to by Link, Zelda, Samus and Fox.

"Really, Peach," said Zelda gently. "Yes, there is sand at the beach…. And it might get in your suit…"

"SUIT!" screamed Peach. "I'm not getting in the water! I may not even go! Haven't you seen 'Jaws'? WELL!"

Samus put her hand on her forehead. "That was a movie, Peach. And if it worries you that much, you can just tan on the beach."

That got Peach's attention.

"Well I guess I need to work on my tan…. Hey, maybe some cute beach boys will be there!" Suddenly the prospect of the beach wasn't so bad to the princess.

Link, however, found a flaw in her plan. "Aren't you dating Mario?"

She waved her manicured hand. "Hmph, he can stand a little while without me."

Fox rolled his eyes. "Nice, Peach. If you want to lower his self-esteem any lower, go ahead."

"It's already hit rock-bottom anyway," commented Samus. "I caught him reading Dr. Phil self-help books yesterday. And he was watching Oprah too."

Link raised an eyebrow. "When were you in his room anyway?"

Samus shrugged. "I needed the plunger to unstuck Kirby from the Jacuzzi bottom. Who knew the little guy was so rubbery?"

Fox sighed. "Well, I'm going back to my room to pack… have fun discussing Kirby's anatomy." With that he swiftly exited the room. In suite, the other Smashers followed.

(Later)

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNKKKK!"

Two heads popped out of two doors, one small, one bigger. "What?"

Zelda came stomping down the hall. "Which of you did the laundry last?"

Young Link looked around, eyes innocent. "Me, laundry? I just swim in the pool with my clothes on. The chlorine cleans it."

Zelda rolled her eyes at the young boy's antics. "Link?"

Link gave Zelda a blank stare. "You think I do my own laundry? Samus does it. I leave it in front of her door and she does it. Have to dig around in the laundry pile sometimes to find my stuff though."

Samus opened her door. "I heard my name," she said, a rust-red one-piece bathing suit on her shoulder, a towel covering her armor-clad body.

Link stepped back into his room. "Nothing. I got to get packing… bye." He shut the door fast. Young Link followed his older self's actions, slamming the door quickly to avoid further interrogation.

Samus gave a long, curious look at Zelda. "And you're asking those two where your laundry is… why?"

Zelda held up a Kokiri cap. "Found this in there. It dyed all my whites green. Not that light green isn't a good color, but they were supposed to be white." She shoved the cap under Young Link's door. "Guess I'll just give to him."

Samus glanced at Link's door. "What makes him think he can just dump his laundry for me to do? I only do it because it's there." She shrugged, the towel slipping slightly. "Oh well… best get back to my packing. I was going to go to Dr. Mario and ask him to stitch it up in the back, but I'll do it later. The towel has a rip too."

Turning, she waved to Zelda and went back to her room to pack.

Zelda walked back down the hall, and was about to go to the dining room to snag something to eat when Pikachu and Pichu came zooming down the hall, each carrying a small piece of cloth.

Catching the two mice by their tails, she snapped, "What are you two doing? Slow down…" She gasped as she saw what they were carrying. "Aren't those Roy and Marth's-"

She never got the words out. The two swordsmen came streaking down the hall, waving their swords. "Come back here you little runts!"

Zelda yanked the clothing from the two Poke'mon's mouths. Shaking off the static, she muttered, "Isn't there peace anywhere here?" Throwing the trunks at Marth and Roy, she stamped off to the dining room, muttering about what was going on and how she managed to get stuck in the middle of it.

(At the volleyball courts)

Mewtwo, Luigi, Mario and Gannondorf were at the volleyball courts, playing… well, volleyball. A pink, round object hurtled towards Mario's outstretched hands, and a small squeak emitted from it as Mario swatted the ball. A tuft of pink hair was whacked off the ball, and it indignantly squeaked.

"Shut it, Jigglypuff," snapped Gannondorf, and gave a rather hard clout, sending it smashing into the wall. The Poke'mon swelled up crossly, and shrieked a song out, which it is often apt to do when angered.

Mewtwo lifted the light crimson ball up with his mind powers, and set it flying across the net. "Silent, little one."

Luigi, deeply immersed in 'USA Weekly', looked up and added a few curse words in Italian. Mario gasped and clasped his hands to his mouth, which left him defenseless against Jigglypuff, who attacked him swiftly, beating the plumber senseless.

Gannondorf leaned against the wall, and said to Mewtwo, "Shouldn't we be packing or something? I heard the girls squealing about swimsuits or whatever they talk about in their free time…"

Mewtwo shrugged his bony shoulders and murmured, "I have no intent to swim."

Luigi, who had resumed reading about various stars birthdays, looked up again and asked in a quaint accent, "Gonna work on your tan, eh?"

Mewtwo gave him a stern glare, which made the green-clad Smasher look back down sheepishly.

A few loud bangs issued from the hall leading to the courts, and a few screams as well. The door burst open, and two characters fought to get in.

Mr. Game and Watch came running in, sausages flying out behind him, making weird electronic noises as he ran, Peach pursuing him.

"What is it now…" muttered Gannondorf, and picked up the panicking Smasher by the nape of his neck. "What, you little megabyte?"

Mr. Game and Watch squeaked and point at Mario, who was busy fighting off a furious Jigglypufff. Holding out a piece of crumpled paper in his hands, he shoved it in Gannondorf's face.

Gannondorf read the paper, and grinned. Scrunching up the paper into a ball, he threw it at Mario, who managed to fight off Jigglypuff for a second to read it. His face crumpled, and the plumber soon started bawling.

Peach ran over to him and snatched the paper. "That was MEAN!" she snarled, and gave a sturdy whack to the black gaming charater.

"What is it?" asked Luigi.

Peach answered. "It's an audition from a 'hero' movie. One of the requirements is 'no gaming or video characters allowed to audition.'"

Gannondorf grinned. "Nice, Mr. Game and Watch."

Peach sat down to reassure her crying boyfriend, giving murderous looks at the innocent-looking game character.

(End Chapter Two)

A/N RELAX. Just saying that before the flames come. I will start the beach next chapter. Really. I will use flames to cook my ramen. Be sure to review!


	3. Finally at the beach

A/N Hello! Five reviews (since I last checked). Awesome! I love you guys:hands out assorted fruits and ramen packets: You guys are sweet.

Young Link: Want a tissue?

Me:sob: Yeah…

Young Link:sighs: Just keep writing… :hands over Kleenex:

Me:sniffle: Okay… on with the story… there will be the beach in here, daenne worry!

Oh, quick reviewer response- you can call me whatever you want, Glaive, Shadowsong, Wolf, whatever. As long as I know you're addressing me!

Disclaimer: I don't think Super Smash Brothers Inc. would cry over reviewer responses… unless, of course, it's all an act and I am the real SSB:M leader and am I pretending to just get you more interested in the game and possibly buy and I will use the money to RULE THE WORLD! MUHAHAHAHA! FEAR ME!

Doctor: Patient number 282. Diagnosis- severe. What do you suggest, nurse?

Nurse: Lots of time in the padded room. And maybe some paper slippers.

Me: Oh, the padded room…. Slippers…. Plot to rule the world… muhah…

(Begin Chapter Three)

Over a hundred pounds in bags were piled in front of the door leading to the outside of the Smasher mansion. The last one, covered in tufts of hair and had banana peel streaks all over it, lay on top, creating a stink of bananas that wafted about in the room.

Captain Falcon looked questioningly at the Master Hand, who seemed rather pleased they are all leaving for a week. "So… how are we getting there?"

"I am NOT taking anyone," automatically said Zelda and Mewtwo, who hating teleporting anyone- it got tiring after a while.

Roy looked out the windows at the distant city that was miles away from the mansion secure in the woods from human sight. "How about going to a bus stop and picking up a bus to the nearest beach?"

Marth shot a look over his shoulder at Bowser, who was playing on Mario's handheld Tetris. "You think he can just waltz over to the bus stop, hand over a quarter, and go to the beach without getting attacked or something?"

Popo added, "And Fox and Falco aren't so inconspicuous either."

Zelda, however, had a solution. "Well, those who can dress up and look semi-normal-"

"That's a stretch," muttered Samus.

Zelda shot her a glare. "-can go to the bus stop and catch a bus, while those who… well, can't do that, can maybe call up the Great Fox and catch a ride to the beach."

"Can't we all go on Fox and Falco's ship?" asked Peach a little huffily. "Those buses are so UNSANITARY."

"Just because you got thrown up once on a public transit-" started Link.

"EW!" she screamed, and swung a tennis racket at the young warrior. "I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND YOU KNOW IT WELL!"

The racket connected solidly with his head, and he swiftly fell unconscious into a potted plant. Nana yanked him up and sprayed ice into his face. He awoke with a yelp and "WHAT THE NAYRU WAS THAT FOR!"

Peach stuck her nose into the air and huffed. "For reminding me of an experience I never wanted to think about again!"

Young Link smiled mischievously. "So, was it a girl or guy that hurled on you? Hair color? Shape of nose?"

A second later he was belted with a frying pan halfway across the room.

"I'm going to answer her question- the Great Fox really doesn't need thirty-six people on it, and the bus seems easier," said Zelda, trying to ignore the fuming Peach, dazed Young Link (who took her hit to the head) and a groaning Link, who recovered quite quickly.

Samus grabbed her clothing bag and ran into the bathroom that wasn't far from the front foyer. "I'm going to change!" she yelled, slamming the door, knocking down a few pictures off the wall as well.

The Master Hand swore, causing all the Smashers to look curiously up at him. "Master Hand, are you kind of mad we're not going anytime soon?" asked Fox slowly.

The Master Hand replied with some swear words in Japanese and floated off.

Link raised an eyebrow at Marth, Roy, Mewtwo, Pikachu, Pichu, and Jigglypuff. "Now, where would he learn those?"

Roy stabbed a finger at Jigglypuff. "Guilty. I caught her swearing."

Kirby jumped to her defense. "Hihihi!"

Roy gave him a pitying look. "Hi right back atcha, cotton ball."

The puffball swelled to the size of a piano, then shrunk again.

"I think he's trying to tell us something," suggested Young Link, and peered closer.

Zelda banged her head against the wall a few times. This was getting them no where.

(Later)

After a few interrogations while Samus changed about Jigglypuff's language problems, a few calls to Slippy and Peppy from Fox and Falco, and a long walk to the bus station, they were at the beach.

It seemed a normal beach- crystal-clear blue waters, white and pale yellow sand, horseshoe crabs scuttling about like leaves in a tornado, seagulls causing havoc among themselves, the chatter of people-

Well, not really.

There were no people, thanks to Bowser, who, as soon as he got off the Great Fox, leapt among the crowds, eating up their hot dogs, chugging down their drinks, and stealing their beach towels. They ran like the people on the beach ran from Jaws the shark.

Zelda, shedding her heavy out clothing into a one-piece with swimsuit cover patterned with lavender roses. Stepping into the burning sand from the parking lot, she sighed- it was great to be off the bus. A guy with big bags of who knows what kept leering at her, and she finally switched places with Samus, who wore a hood to avoid the looks of other people.

Link, on the other hand, had a fairly hard time keeping Young Link from bouncing around, who finally stopped when a woman asked Young Link to keep his "son" under control. Link replied that it was his little brother, and kicked Young Link when the boy was about to say it was his older self, seven years older.

Laying out her towel and setting up her umbrella, she reveled in the sweet noises of the lapping waves, the cawing seagulls, screaming Peach-

Screaming Peach?

Zelda jerked up, dropping her towel, racing to where the princess stood.

And what an interesting sight it was.

Dozens of seagulls surrounded the pink-clad princess, cawing and screaming, all for the one thing she held.

A lone hot dog, with a splash of mustard on it.

Beating out with her golf club, she whacked out, fighting off the winged killers. Stuffing the hot dog in her mouth (no easy feat) she ran for cover in the bathrooms, the gulls in hot pursuit.

Zelda groaned and walked back to her towel. Peach can fight off a few gulls, she thought, and fell into a calming sleep on her towel.

However, another sleep was not so calming for another.

Bowser, after stuffing himself on hot dogs and soft drinks (and a hard drink or two) he collapsed on some sand to sleep off all the food he ate.

It was then when Young Link and Ness launched their attack.

Taking buckets of sand, they spread it over the blissfully unaware turtle, creating a base. Pouring more and more over him, and carving a few pictures with their fingers in the sand, the pair left, giggling.

A few curious gulls came over to see what this giant lump in the sand was- and became excited at the images. Pecking at them curiously, and lifting their heads to call to fellow brethren, it was clear- in seconds, Bowser was swamped in hungry gulls.

The Smashers came running over to the roaring, furious Bowser. All but three- Peach, who was in the bathroom cleaning her swim suit, and Ness and young Link, giggling in the corner.

(End Chapter Three)

A/N Shhh! Don't guess what the images were- you'll spoil it. I'll tell you next chapter, but for all those who can't figure it out, hide your eyes from the reviews!

Speaking of reviews, don't forget to!


	4. Jaws and Claws

A/N Hello there! I love the reviews guys- they're great. Oh, and to reply to one of them (I forgot your name, so sorry!) about writing something insane- I think it's funnier if the Smashers do everyday things instead of crazy things, because imaging them going that is just crazy itself. But thanks for offering an idea.

Oh, I forgot to mention- all the Smashers are wearing their swim suits by now. Just to tell you.

Thanks to one of my reviewers (I really can't remember your names… meep!) for suggesting the whole burying Bowser idea. Very good idea!

Now… :trumpets sounds: on with the story!

Disclaimer: I own Super Smash Brothers! Muhahaha:gets books and hammers thrown at by lawyers: Sorry! Just testing:sighs: Okay, so you know the truth… :narrows eyes: I will find a way to own Super Smash Brothers! I will:gets dragged off by lawyers: NOOOOO!

(Begin Chapter Four)

Yoshi, Kirby, the Ice Climbers, and Mario had left the main group of Smashers to find the famous hot dog stands of the beach.

Along the way to find the hot dog stands, Nana had picked up a crab and named it 'Claws'. Stuffing the crab in the little pocket in her swim suit, she ran to catch up with the four others, who had managed to find an abandoned hot dog stand and were stuffing themselves with buns, hot dogs, and condiments.

Kirby, suddenly realizing he had a taste for mustard, snatched up all the mustard packets and bottles and shoved it all in his mouth for later use. For now, he started chewing them, tasting the mustard, adding a bit of relish, savoring the taste.

Mario, on the other hand, discovered a love for hot dog buns and began cramming them in his mouth, making sure to put a few in his overalls for later.

Yoshi, as a joke, squirted ketchup all over his neck and staggered over to Dr. Mario, who was tanning in a Speedo nearby. Pretending to choke, Yoshi fell on top of Dr. Mario, who screamed and fainted due to the sight of 'blood'.

Cackling, the small dinosaur ran off to Peach, who had managed to fight off the gulls with the golf club. She was standing outside the bathrooms, cleaning sand off her arms and swearing in French.

Yoshi came running over, tripping on the sand, and, sure enough, when Peach saw, she fainted, wide blue eyes frightened. Not at the sight of 'blood', like Dr. Mario, but the fact that Yoshi had gotten a ketchup stain on his green trunks, and that, of course, is a fashion 'don't'.

Yoshi, satisfied, began swimming in the water in a relaxed fashion. His job was complete.

(Other side of beach)

Link hauled his younger self up by the nape of his neck. "You did WHAT?"

Roy was holding a struggling Ness also. "Something about making pictures of hot dogs and cotton candy on Bowser to attract gulls." He looked at Ness, squarely in the eye. "Why?"

Ness raised his eyebrow. "What a stupid question. You know why."

Marth glared sternly at the young boy. "Now, have some respect for your elders!"

Ness glared back. "What for? You guys don't have any power over me!"

To prove this point, he managed to slip out of Roy's grasp. Young Link copied him, and the two sped away, creating a mini sand tornado in their wake.

Marth sighed. "Those two will never learn. Link, how did you become so mature from that… that thing?"

Link shook his head. "Seven years of sleeping, Marth. Seven years."

Roy shrugged- he knew all of the Smashers stories, because as a 'get to know your new pals' game they had to play the other's video games. Marth had become addicted to Legend of Zelda, especially Ocarina of Time. He had beaten the game seven times, and was working on the eighth.

Link, on the other hand, was busy finishing Kirby's game, 'Kirby's Air Ride' and 'Kirby and the Crystal Shards'.

Roy, on the other hand, was found playing Mario Sunshine quite often in his room.

Link shrugged, a gesture that said, "So what?" and added to his statement, "Plus I had to do a lot more afterwards, so Young Link has a lot more to do."

Marth wiped some sweat off his forehead. "Geez, even without the armor on it's still hot."

Roy glanced at Marth, commenting, "At least you only have trunks on, Marth. I got to wear this shirt too."

Link jabbed his thumb towards the water. "Let's go swimming- we didn't come here by bus just to talk."

Roy and Marth agreed, and they all ran into the water, yelling and whooping as they splashed into the waves. Roy threw off his shirt, saying that he didn't really care who saw his topless. (A/N :wipes up drool from fan girls: )

Samus and Zelda, tanning on their towels, looked up at the noise. Zelda, rested from her nap, grinned slightly at the sight of her boyfriend with his shirt off. "Looks like their having fun."

Samus grinned also. "We can't say the same for Bowser."

Zelda lifted her sunglasses to look at her friend. "Where is he anyway? That joke Young Link and Ness played on him was really mean-"

"-and you know you liked it," finished Samus. "Come on, you were laughing hysterically."

"Where is he?" asked Zelda again patiently, though behind her voice you could hear slight impatience.

Samus nodded. "In the bathrooms, washing off the… sand." The unspoken gift from the seagulls too, thought Samus.

Zelda widened her violet eyes. "Wait… aren't they made of wood?"

Samus shrugged. "Yeah?"

"When he gets made, things get set on fire," said Zelda. "And when he's around wood…"

The two girls shot up and started running towards the bathrooms to save them before it was too late-

"ROOOOOOOOOARRRRRR!"

"Great," muttered Samus, slowing down, knowing it was futile to get any closer. "We're going to get in so much trouble…"

Zelda tried to shrug it off, saying, "Well, they can build a better one…" The weak excuse trailed off feebly as she saw Bowser stomping out, covered in soot and sand, fire spurting out of his nostrils. "Uh-oh."

Bowser threw back his head and roared to the sky, the sand shuddering. Zelda and Samus began to back away, only to smash into Bowser's partner-in-crime, DK. The ape raced forward, and the pair walked (stomped) off to find Ness and Young Link.

However, the two young boys were rather busy already…

(In the water)

Peach finally summoned up enough courage to go in the water, and was having a rather nice paddle when ominous music came into the air, and the water sloshed about. Panicked, Peach started swimming back to shore- but stopped dead when a fin appeared in the water about twenty feet ahead of her.

Heading closer…. Closer…

Suddenly the fin shot forward, and Peach screamed, bringing out her frying pan and slamming it hard onto the fin, screaming, "HEEEEEELLPPPPPP!" Swiftly, the princess ran onto shore, throwing cooking implements behind her.

Samus and Zelda ran towards her, already weary from the day's events. "What did she do NOW?" yelled Samus, furious. "It'd better not be… oh… my… good…ness…" she trailed off.

Out of the water came a baseball cap and green elf hat, floating towards shore. A shirtless Young Link popped out of the water, along with a topless Ness, sharing high-fives and whooping. A water-proof CD player was in Young Link's hand, and the 'ominous music' continued.

Peach finally made it ashore, and stood there gasping. "They… are… going… to… PAY!" she shrieked, and fainted upon the shoreline, the waves lapping on her still form.

Because it was then that Nana had run up to show Peach her new pet crab Claws. She had been running towards Peach, yelling, "Look! Claws! Claws!"

However, Peach misunderstood.. And thus, fainted upon the sand.

(End Chapter Four)

A/N Did you guys guess that Peach thought she said Jaws? Just checking. See, we watched a clip of Jaws in class and it got me thinking… hm. And the music on the CD player was that Jaws music. You know.. Du-nu-du-nu… Du-nu-du-nu…

I'm sorry I don't have all the characters in every chapter, but I try to include all of them in the story.

All you fan girls of the male characters of SSBM, don't drool at the mention of Roy, Marth, and Link topless. If your drool gets in the keyboard you can't write a wonderful review for me. However, if needed, I will supply handkerchiefs for those who can't help it. :lays pile of hankies out for fan girls:

Be sure to review!


	5. Sleep on the Beach

A/N Sorry about the no-update thing. I was on Spring Break (Canada- my first time out the of good ole US of A. We got overcharged six bucks on our pizza (lousy money change thing) other than that, it was good. I liked the hotel!) and then I got all this stuff going on from school and events and… sorry. I didn't die, or my brother would've posted saying I kicked the bucket a bit early. So.. Here's another update!

Oh, and about only mentioning a few characters every chapter- gomen (Japanese-sorry) gomen- it's just that they are characters that can talk and I like, so I will tend to use them often. But I always try to include others. Oh, and other thing- I look at all my reviewers bios, and I've seen some of you guys (and girls) don't like some pairings/characters I have in here. Just before you yell "I HATE (blank)" just remember that some people love (blank) and I can't please everybody. Thank you for your consideration.

Oh, and I don't hate Peach… she has her strong moments, but think about it.. A pink-clad, parasol-toting princess who squeals when she wins. It's totally Shadowsong bait. But remember- she is feared for her tennis racket, frying pan, and golf club, so she has power!

Disclaimer: Yeah, right, like I own this? I've never been to Japan (where are ton of the games were made) so how could I own this loveliness::hugs loveliness: I can wish… upon a star… :gets hit by comet for being lyrical:

(Begin chapter five)

Night had fallen upon the beach, and Peach had been dragged under the showers and revived by cold water being sprayed into her face. She woke up screaming, flailing about, and knocking Zelda and Samus, her captors, in the shoulders with a tennis racket, causing them drop her in the sandy muck that, after layers of sand being dumped on it, congealed into something resembling stucco.

When Peach sat up, she resembled a rock with slippery, slimy, ooze trailing off it. Suddenly, the realization that she was covered in sandy goo- which was horrible for her nails- hit her, and she exploded into fresh screams, wailing like a cat who was left out in the rain.

Samus wiped gunk off of her arms, coughing as the stench rose. "That is NASTY! I am so using the hotel shower…"

Ness, who ran by, chasing Young Link, who had stolen his hat, managed to say, "I didn't see any hotel on the way here!"

Zelda bashed her head against the shower stall. "Great! We're going to sleep on the beach!"

Samus shrugged. "At least it's sort of private… no one but us is around." Suddenly, pushed to the breaking point by Peach's wailing, screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT!" and whapped a good one of Peach's mucky head. The princess fell in a heap, a tiny sigh escaping from her lips.

Young Link, who had thrown Ness his hat back, stared at the group of girls. "Samus! What happened?" A sly grin spread across his face. "Didn't have your Prozac?"

A second later, a wad of gritty, slimy sand splattered into his face. Samus started chasing the young Hylian around the showers, screaming, "You are going to get it!"

Zelda sank down into the sand and despaired along with the other Smashers as the rock of sanity began to crumble- Samus had snapped.

(On the beach, nearing dusk)

The Smashers had dug small trenches in the sand to sleep in, and wrapped blankets bought (and stolen) from local stores. Peach was sleeping in a shallow trench far from the tide line, while some of the more adventurous Smashers opted for a seashore bed. The Ice Climbers slept in the tiny cooler brought by DK, after taking all the bananas out.

Kirby, however, was tied down to a rock for the night. The other Smashers soon figured out that he slept in a bed with tons of pillows and blankets to weigh him down, and after falling asleep in a trench, he started to float away in the sunset sky.

Well, he never made it to the sunset. Shortly after he had reached an altitude of roughly three hundred feet, Falco swiftly noticed that a small, wailing pink balloon was in the sky. Picking up a rock and hurling it, he knocked the pink puffball clear out of the sky and into the sea, where Fox grudgingly swam and dragged him out.

Dr. Mario quickly preformed CPR on the gaming character, and was soon drenched in once-swallowed seawater.

"Ah! Gross!" he had yelped, and ran into the sea, and was swiftly drenched by the salt-soaked waves. He came out, yellow sand crusting his once clean lab coat.

Now, he slept on the other side of the beach, carefully avoiding the pink beach-ball-looking Smasher.

Yoshi and Ness, along with Young Link, had erected a little tent out of swimsuit cover-ups, blankets, and who-knows-what found on the beach. After stealing some hot dogs from the abandoned vendor (the dealer had ran, for Bowser loved hot dogs and was going to prove it to him).

Taking a flashlight which Ness had found in a gutter beyond the parking lot, they looked over old magazines left on the beach after Bowser had "visited" it.

Fox and Falco, after scrounging up some sleeping bags from the stockpile they had brought, heard the group of boys giggling inside the "tent". Fox, poking his head into the structure, asked in an annoyed voice, "Can you guys keep it down? You sound like a bunch of teenage girls at a sleepover."

Falco stepped in, and swiped the magazine off the floor and scanned the cover. "Good Housekeeping?" He snatched up a few more. "Oprah? Woman's World? What's so funny about those?"

Fox's eyes widened, and he grabbed the magazine the boys were reading. "What the heck? They were reading this? This is WAY above your age level, boys! Let us mature responsible Smashers handle this…"

Falco, who was looking at an article on weight loss in "O" (Oprah's magazine), looked up. "What?"

Fox shoved the magazine in his face. "THIS!"

Falco ripped the magazine in half a second after reading the cover. "Yeah! Fox is right! This- whoa." Falco peered closer. "Amazing…"

Fox seized the magazine. "Really, you're supposed to be matur- wow." He let out a low whistle. "Where's the other half?"

Young Link, Ness, and Yoshi simply stared at the two "mature, responsible" Smashers.

"Can we have our magazine back?" asked Young Link in a confused voice. "I want another look at that Ferrari."

"And the Mercedes!" added Ness, and jumped up and grabbed the magazine swiftly.

Falco gave a mean look at Fox. "See, they weren't looking at the models."

Fox raised an eyebrow. "And you weren't?"

Falco turned around, and stalked out the door, right into Captain Falcon.

"Did I hear Ferrari?" he said absentmindedly, and slipped into the tent, and began reading with the boys.

"Did I hear Mercedes?" Luigi slipped in also, decked out in green trunks (he hadn't changed for night yet) and propped himself up on his elbows and studied the pictures. "Wow! Mama mia!"

Fox and Falco bent down the read the magazine (half of it really), and settled down. The seven males read on.

(Two hours later)

"Where did all the boys go?" asked Peach, combing her perfect hair. She had woken up a half hour earlier, and was "freshening up" for the night.

Zelda, who was rubbing the salt flakes from her skin, answered, "In the tent, reading car magazines." Zelda thought the idea of "freshening up" for night was a weird idea, but didn't say so because Peach still wielded her frying pan with deadly aim and preferred not to go to sleep with a deep concussion.

Samus leaned back, her eyes closing rapidly. "It's nine o'clock. They've been at it for two hours. Shouldn't they be asleep and ready for tomorrow?" Her "angry moment" had cooled off in her, and everyone had decided to forget about it- everyone has their crazy moments. No one could quite forget it when Luigi had threatened to spray tomato sauce all over the gaming room when the air conditioning was turned off, or when Kirby ate the whole refrigerator, metal and all. These things were never mentioned again.

Nana walked over, smelling of bananas. "Have you seen Popo? He has my bag of clothes."

Zelda pointed towards the tent, made bigger by the added sleeping bags of the male Smashers- it now resembled a cloth palace, only a whole lot smaller. Whoops and random facts about cars sounded from the highly popular tent.

Nana sighed. "Can I borrow some of yours?"

Zelda dug through her bag and threw a pair of extra pajama pants and a large, baggy shirt with the words "Visit Hyrule Palace" on the front, with a shiny Triforce symbol on it.

Samus looked at the loaned shirt. "Do you get a lot of tourism?"

Zelda shrugged. "Mostly Hylians, Zora, and the occasional Kokiri."

Jigglypuff rolled over, wrapped in an overlarge shirt. Through some squeaks and repetitions of her name, she asked where all the boy Poke'mon were.

Zelda, Samus, Peach explained their sad tale to her, how the boys loved car magazines more than their girl friends (girlfriends in Zelda's case).

Nana repeated it slowly, as if taking it all in. "Link, Roy, Marth, Bower, DK, Mario, Dr. Mario, Kirby, Popo, Mewtwo-"

"Mewtwo!" exclaimed Peach, surprised. "He likes cars?"

"Yes," said Zelda. "And all the male Smashers went, those Nana didn't say."

The girl Smashers fell into a sleep, lulled by the crashing of the waves and the yells of "YeHAH!" and "Ford RULES!"

(End Chapter Five)

A/N If you are a guy and don't like cars, please accept my apologies. But my brother and most of my guys friends are obsessed with cars and can point out the smallest details of cars when we are driving ("There goes a Ford Toyota with 40 horsepower" or something weird like that) and it just seemed kind of funny to add it in here.

Sorry about the no updating- homework, groundings, grueling events, and the fact that I've been writing other things (for friends, it will never be on fan fiction… :wink: You'll never know…)

And about the Prozac thing mentioned earlier- no disrespect towards those who take Prozac. And if you read the magazines mentioned, don't feel offended- I read the new Woman's World whenever a new one comes out::wink: And my mom reads Good Housekeeping and Oprah. And I see tons of car magazines out there, but I don't read them personally. Kind of boring. :ducks potatoes hurled by car-lovers:

So be sure to review, and come back for the next chapter!


	6. Toyota vs Ford

A/N Yes! My reviewers are back:hugs reviewers: Meh luves my reviewers! I'm using too many exclamation points! So sue me!

Actually, please don't. I'm sort of low on money at the moment.

I have nothing more to say, so… on with the show!

(My cat is currently struggling to get a shoelace (which is attached to a shoe) off her claws… and is losing. Now she is staring at it.)

Disclaimer:pushes up glasses: Well, no one ever TOLD me I couldn't steal the copyright for SSB:M, kidnap the directors, hold them hostage, and threaten to feed them only on cheeze curls until they begged for forgiveness and gave the full rights.

Random person walking by: But that wouldn't be very nice.

Me:sighs: Okay… But Mommy told me to share… so what if I shared- :gets hit by large granite rock:

Random person: SHUT UP AND WRITE ALREADY!

Me: Touchy.

(Begin chapter six)

The sun broke over the horizon, just like the way the female Smasher's tempers were going to break because of the guys.

A large debate over what was better- Ford or Toyota- had escalated into a full-fledged war, Toyotas having their own fort, Fords owning another sand castle. The tent was no man's land, safety for negotiating ploys and insults to be hurled at in safety.

Outside that, Toyota or Ford, you were toast.

The girls had spent a majority of the night with pillows stuffed over their heads, earplugs made of tightly-rolled up pellets of sand and cloth shoved in their ears, and (in Nana's case) securely set in a banana-smelling cooler, with a small air hole in the top.

"Can't… get… to… sleep… ARGHHHH!" roared Zelda, hurling a big, shiny seashell that was her "thing" to stare at and count the number of mother-of-pearl layers on to fall asleep with at the tent. "JUST SHUT THE NAYRU UP! HOW CARES! I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!"

Samus poked her head up out of the thousands of layers of fabrics over her head, commenting, "Zelda, it's no use. I'm sorry. I tried that around three, and they were arguing about who has the better horsepower measure and gas mileage."

Zelda buried her head in the pile of blankets near her head and began to scream.

Peach had found a better way- she had found a hot dog vendor's cart, and rolling it over, snuggled deep inside of it, trying not to inhale too much hot dog smell and ignore ketchup stains that littered the cart.

Nana sleepily poked her head out of her cooler. "I think the debate is taking a break. They're mentioning getting food so they can "go at it" later." She had been listening for a long-awaited break in the talk, like the other girl Smashers.

Jigglypuff promptly began bouncing around at the sign of a relief in the war of the cars, and Zelda stopped screaming. Peach crawled out of her vendors cart.

A minute later, DK loped out of the Ford side and searched for a vendor's cart to pick up and bring back for the Ford side of the debate, while Bowser went out for the Toyota side of the debate fort, looking for a vendor.

A moment of silence, accompanied by hushed whispers by both sides for rebuttals, was greeted well by the girl Smashers.

However, the bliss was destined only to stay for a minute.

A shrieking flock of sea gulls descended upon the beach, squawking and screaming in full glory, showing that they were ready to seize the day.

And maybe some potato chips and stale pizza as well.

Zelda buried her head yet again into the blankets and screamed. Samus shook her fist at the gulls and sank down into her mass of blankets and used earplugs. (Many earplugs had broken down from being used for hours on end.) Jigglypuff rolled over and squealed a few thousand times, while Peach froze in shock from realization.

She was completely covered in the smell of hot dogs, buns, mustard, ketchup, and relish.

She smelled like it too.

And the worst part…

The seagulls were hungry.

The swarm of seagulls dive bombing Peach was one thing she would never forget, nor the pecks and shrieks that hurt her ears and body, nor the snap of her parasol as the came in contact with wings, feet, beaks, eyes, heads, and tails.

Realizing that they were not dealing with the regular helpless hot dog buns, they fled, searching for a less ferocious and pink victim.

Panting, Peach breathed hard, tired after her ordeal with the seagulls. She sagged, her body telling her a few things-

1. That she had spent the whole night awake, wide-eyed, listening to boys argue who has the better gas meter colors and worse tires for different car companies.

2. That she was covered in hot dog condiments ranging from mustard to crushed pickled vegetables.

3. That she smelled like a sewer in medieval France.

4. That her hair was horribly messed up and sand crusted her clothing.

All that combined made her faint upon the sandy shores of a body of salt water.

Samus sighed, picked her up, and stuffed her back into her vendor's cart. She turned to Zelda. "I'm going back to the other carts to get some food- come with me. The others are fine."

Zelda nodded, and followed Samus in search for beef by-products.

(…….)

Bowser and DK, searching for a vendor, saw an upturned hot dog vendor laying in the sand, along with a closed-up cooler next to a huge pile of blankets. Eagerly running over and snatching up the cooler and vendor, they ran off towards the two sand forts.

(……)

Zelda and Samus, having found a hot dog stand and some slushies behind the icebox in there, dragged it back, knowing that Peach would appreciate the slushies and Nana would love the ice. The boys had resumed their fight and were starting on whether or not Ford or Toyota had bigger gas tanks, which would keep them occupied for hours until the next point was brought up, most likely on whether or not the Japanese used stainless steel or aluminum in their stereos.

Samus was the first to notice that the vendor cart was gone and the cooler was gone. "Hey… where are Nana and Peach?"

Zelda, busy lugging around the vending cart full of food and covered by a beach towel to stop the stuff from melting, wasn't looking towards the blankets- she was having trouble getting past a huge hunk of wet sand. Panting, she said, "I really don't know… where we left them possibly?"

Samus grabbed the princess's arm and yelled, "THEY'RE GONE!"

Zelda stared. "What? Peach didn't have the energy to snore when we left! How could she possibly get up and leave? And Nana was perfectly content where she was, though if it was the banana smell that drove her away I'm not blaming her."

Samus followed the tracks and moaned. "Great! It leads to the Ford fort, while the cooler tracks lead to the Toyota sand castle. What now?"

Zelda sighed and sagged into the sand. "I dunno… just let them freak out about the no-food thing and they'll calm down eventually…"

(End chapter six)

A/N And what shall happen to our favorite female Eskimo and a sleeping princess? Find out next episode on-

:gets hit by computer mouse: Mouse: This isn't a TV show, moron!

Me: Aiee. That hurt. Uh, review… come back… you know the drill! Come back next epi- :ducks: Meeep! Oh, and if I spelled Toyota wrong a few times... ignore that... yeah..


	7. Cars and Captives

A/N Welcome, humans. Welcome back to Gulls, Sand, and Hot Dogs Oh My! In this week, Nana and Peach were Eski-cess-napped by-

:gets whapped by massive sledgehammer: Ah hush and get on with the story!

Me: Pushy child, aren't you?

Sledgehammer: I could be pushier.

Me: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Oh, about the tide thing- just pretend that it doesn't happen here. It's a magical beach.

Sledgehammer: Magical beach? Have I beaten you lately?

Me: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Disclaimer: I don't think owners of SSB:M get threatened get talking sledgehammers often. If they do, please tell me so- I need reassurance.

(Begin Chapter Seven)

Zelda slipped down into the sandy beach, panting. Samus was already out next to her, fast asleep. Zelda glared at the small crab, Nana's pet she had named Claws earlier, who was lying in the sand poking at a shell with a red claw, and nearly spat at it, for no reason.

Zelda and Samus, in a rescue attempt of Nana and Peach, had slipped quietly up to the Ford-vs.-Toyota speeches and debates, and planned to grab the cooler and food cart when they heard a strange, deafening roar-

"BRING OUT THE TEST DUMMIES!"

Peach and Nana, squirming around in a Toyota and Ford stolen from the parking lot, were wide-eyed and scared.

Well, Peach was. Nana was busy trying to rub the smell of banana off of her by scooting against the vinyl seats, each desperate attempt punctuated by Eskimo curses and triumphant squeaks. She could really care less if she was the victim of a Toyota-Ford war.

Peach, however, was confused, scared, and plain ticked off. Attempting to bite away the gag (a rope with the Toyota symbol drawn onto it by a purple Sharpie that Fox had brought) and scream at the same time, it was obvious she was not succeeding.

"Lemmehoewmeeshies!" she yelled through the gag, and spluttering on the taste. "Ifeygetshoo…"

The sentence roughly translated into "You're toast if you don't let me go!"

However, the princess hardly looked threatening, being covered in mustard stains and strapped into a red Toyota. She threw a frantic look at Nana, who was in the Ford, and had almost succeeded in getting all of the banana smell off of her and was eager to reach her goal, and didn't seem to notice a panicked squeak for help from Peach.

A steady drumming came from the Ford side, and out came Captain Falcon and Gannondorf, clad in sea rags and looking, rather than menacing, somewhat silly. They were both holding two staves with the words "Toyota" and "Ford" carved onto them (by Young Link, who had stolen Roy's sword to do so."

"Where is the food?" boomed Captain Falcon, and then coughed, muttering, "I need to work on my evil bellow…"

"It's like this," explained Gannondorf, and swelled out his chest and bellowed in evil-villain fashion, "WHERE IS THE FOOD!"

Captain Falcon nodded. "Can you show me how to do that later."

Gannondorf shrugged. "Sure. You see, it's all-"

A wad of wet sand smacked Ganondorf in the nose, and a (rather young) voice called out, "We only have a week here, could you get a move on? We need to finish the bumper debate!"

Captain Falcon threw a nasty glare at the side of the fort where the speaker had shouted from. "We're busy, moron!"

The voice replied mockingly, "We're busy, moooooron! Birdbrain!"

"Birdbrain?" asked Ganondorf, looking thoughtful. "Hm. I've heard worse, but-"

This time, a seashell, thrown with much more force, hit Captain Falcon solidly in the hip. "LET'S GET A MOVE ON PLEASE!"

Ganondorf stuck his nose up in the air and huffed. "You know, we could just leave and form our own group!"

"But what would it be called?" Captain Falcon mused.

"Fuel Fanatics?" suggested Ganondorf.

Captain Falcon grinned. "Brilliant!"

They both dropped the staves and walked off, saying over their shoulders, "You guys can take care of Nana and Peach, we're going to make the Fuel Fanatics!"

The two males high-fived each other and began talking about their new group. The rest of the males, Toyota and Ford alike, stared at each other.

"Well… who's going up now?" questioned Mewtwo, head bowed in thought. The Ford cape draped upon his shoulders made him look like majestic, but it sort of made him look like a purple Batman. Minus the mask/helmet and sidekick.

"Well, if you really think about it, it should be Link and Young Link… they started throwing stuff at Captain Falcon and Ganondorf," said Kirby, translated by Popo.

"I agree…ah," said Luigi, sure to add the Italian accent in there somewhere. His cape, he thought to himself, though dashing, was a wee bit short and made him look like a kindergartener going out in the streets for Halloween. However dashing, he was, it was hard to shake that image of him going up to some old lady's house and getting beaten on for saying "Trick-or-Tweat" in a kiddish voice.

But nonetheless, the cape was dashing. Luigi admired it, with the Toyota symbol and all.

Mario, on the other hand, looked like Robin from the Batman series, and was spinning around swirling and twirling out his cape for fun.

However, all the spinning went to his head and he was seen wandering around giggling and speaking in some dialect native to Italy. Often wandering off to the enemy side for him (Ford) they often gently pushed him back and let him wander, giggling insanely, back to his side, and the process repeated over and over again.

"Well, maybe we should just get back to the debates," murmured Falco, displeased with the current situation.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Pikachu, with translation from Ness. "I need to finish my debate with Pichu on the motor power and length of the wire cables."

"I think I won that one," mused Pichu, with translation from Mewtwo.

Dr. Mario, who was cleaning under his fingernails, said, "The hygiene in Toyota discussion was not nearly long enough!"

Fox rolled his eyes at the small, squat doctor. "You whiner, we spent fifteen minutes on that debate!"

Dr. Mario cast an angry look at the fox. "We spent an hour on the horsepower debate!"

"Don't diss horses," said Link, thinking about Epona.

"Horses look scary," commented Yoshi, translated by a (tired by now) Ness. "I mean, those hooves could crush a little dinosaur like me."

"Horses are cool!" said Young Link, thinking about his horse at the camping trip they took not too long ago (A/N It's in Camping Trip of Doom- worth the read!).

Kirby said, "Well, I think horses are just huge animals who don't look where they step and could easily crush little balloons like me."

Almost a millisecond (or maybe it was three, no one was timing it) after saying this, Young Link and Link leapt onto the pink-tinted marshmallow and started whacking it with boomerangs and bows.

In the midst of all the chaos, talking, and beatings, no one had noticed that Peach and Nana were being untied by Zelda and Samus.

Well, they wouldn't of noticed- if Peach hadn't screamed when Samus ungagged her "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME SOONER YOU LOSERS!"

All the male Smashers (not including Captain Falcon and Ganondorf, who were far away and discussing their new "Fuel Fanatics" club, and DK and Bowser, who were sulking (as usual) around somewhere or smashing cars to vent their anger) turned around, and Fox yelled, "Hey! They're taking our prisoners!"

Samus cast a worried glance at the enraged male Smashes running towards the four girls. "Fat's in the fire, run!"

Nana thoughtfully chewed threw her gag as Zelda, who swiftly transformed into Shiek to run faster, carried her to their safety. "I've always wondered what that meant. I just never thought I'd learn it in this… situation."

"Isn't it 'From the frying pan into the fire?' asked Zelda/Shiek curiously. Well, as curiously as she could ask running from a mob of Toyota and Ford obsessed Smashers.

"WHO CARES!" yelled Samus. "We'll be both when they catch up with us!"

So, thinking back at these thoughts when, sprawled out in the sand, glaring at a crab, Zelda sighed. If only this vacation could end.

(End chapter seven)

A/N Many things to say!

I am VERY sorry about the update thing! I am begging forgiveness! So much homework and problems… meep!

The crab/Claws thing will be explained, like how she got there in all. Just saying.

Two more chapters until end! I know, sad but true.

So remember- review and please Shadowsong, for she loves reviews and feedback! Remember! (Why am I speaking in third person…)


	8. Run Nana Run!

A/N Welcome! I am rejoicing because it is a three-day weekend- I am mourning because I have to study for finals over the weekend. But, it is six thirty in the morning- I finally have time to write!

Don't ask why I get up so early. I suppose I'm more of a morning person that night. Or would it be dawn than dusk. Or-

(Giant sledgehammer walks in and thumps Shadowsong on the head) If you woke up so early then write, you kitten!

Yessir! (writes, then looks up) Hey! Kitten is MY word!

(Gets whapped again)

Disclaimer: I am still pondering on whether or not I am a dusk or dawn person. And I REALLY doubt that the managers of SSB:M ponder weird stuff like that.

Sledgehammer: I bet they're all morning people.

(Begin chapter eight)

Zelda, sprawled out in the sand, attempted sleep, but none came. The gentle beating of the drums from the Toyota-Ford people and the scuttle of Claws kept awake, and Samus rolled over and bashed her head against the sand.

Claws. Zelda picked up a wad of sand and threw it at the crab, but instead of completely being blown away, it was just gently sprinkled.

Zelda remembered the whole incident completely… slowly she began a flashback…

After grabbing Peach and Nana, the two other girls had sprinted for the shelter of their pile of blankets and pillows, but then Nana turned around and saw a tiny figure scrabbling about in the sand helplessly.

Wriggling out of Zelda/Shiek's grasp (for she had changed earlier) she jumped out and ran after the crab…

And straight into a mob of Ford debaters.

Young Link, a Ford person, bumped into her and yelled, "Hey, can't you see that we're chasing you?"

Nana scooped up her crab, whacked Young Link on the head with her mallet, and ran as quickly as her frame could manage.

Unfortunately, between being chased by angry Ford and Toyota fans, holding a struggling crab, and not being in her natural climate, she didn't quite have the perfect sense of direction.

For she heading right into the Toyota debating tent, where sat a muttering Bowser and DK, who were playing five-card draw poker.

Time seemed to hang in the air when Nana stopped and stared at the large ape demanding three cards in exchange for his useless ones, and Bowser grumbling about having to try and pick up the stupid cards with his talons. When they both slowly turned their heads, she screamed and fled.

Unfortunately, with her hands going numb and the shock of it all, she dropped her pet crab, which scuttled about franticly attempting to find shelter and possibly a bite to eat.

DK dropped all of his cards and stared at the crab, a growing sense of fear on his face. Bowser, who hadn't really noticed the wailing Eskimo, did notice the odd silence which happened after she had left. About to complain to DK about the lack of playing and noise, he jerked his head up-

And spotted Claws and DK having a staring match.

A little background about Bowser- he has always hated crabs, and forever will. Taking a phonebook that had been left on the beach and was used as a gesturing prop for the more passionate debates, and hurled it at the small, innocent crab.

When Bowser is angry, his aim is not at it's perfection rate. The phonebook tore through the air, missed DK by inches and Claws by three feet. It spun out the tent door-

Where Mario, brandishing his staff which had once been Ganondorf's, was running in-

And got a sturdy whack on the head with the spinning phonebook. The noise it made, a slightly hollow combined with a surprised grunt from Mario, along with the terrified squeals of Nana who was captured once again by Mewtwo (who had really grabbed her on accident, thinking it was Pikachu and asking the poor female Eskimo to get him a hot dog because he was too busy with the debates to get one) and the outraged roars from Bowser, made Zelda, Samus, and Peach turn around.

"Ack!" shrieked Zelda/Sheik. "I dropped Nana!"

"I think Nana escaped, and it's not really your fault," observed Samus wisely.

"I'm going to give you some advice, Zelda- never become a prison guard," said Peach. "We'd better go get her before she does something weird…"

Zelda/Shiek gave a humorless laugh and said, "Well, how much trouble can she get in? The males will just ignore her-"

"I GOT THE ESKIMO!"

All three of the Smasher girls (Jigglypuff was sleeping through all the noise) froze. "NANA!" they screamed.

Samus started running, then turned around when the two other girls didn't follow. "Come on, Nana's probably going to be used as a hostage!"

Zelda, coming out of her shock, started running too, but Peach stayed. They both turned around, confused. "Peach? Don't you want to rescue Nana?"

Peach appeared thoughtful for a minute, then shook her head. "Come on guys- think about it for a second. She can defend herself, and she call just scream for Popo when she lands herself in a masculine mess."

Zelda threw out her hands, nearly yelling, "But she's your friend! Geez! Nayru save me, you people-"

A rough squeak came from where the males had captured Nana, and the thwack of a mallet made all the girls (except Jigglypuff and Nana) freeze again.

Another mallet thump sounded, and a "YOW!" was yelped out. Zelda, clearly not caring now if Peach was coming or not, ran towards Bowser's tent, yelling, "Get your slimy claws off of Nana!"

Outraged roars came from where the turtle was, and Bowser came out, defending his innocence, using poor Pichu as a gesturing prop.

Nana, on the other hand, had bitten Mewtwo in effort to get away from him and scattered, scooping up Claws on the way out, and jumped into Zelda/Sheik's arms, saying, "Let's get out of here!"

Zelda did a 360 and ran back, scolding Nana. "Let's! You… you little ice cube! Couldn't you of left the crab? It won't survive in your room, let alone on Ice Mountain!"

Nana stroked the red shell, murmuring, "She doesn't know what she's saying, Claws. She's probably got sand in her-"

"ZELDA!" screamed Samus, half-hysterical. "BEHIND YOU!"

Zelda did yet another 360 and was slightly surprised by the sight she saw.

Expecting a mad, roaring mob of male Smashers waving Toyota and Ford flags and wielding staffs labeled with purple Sharpie, it's not what she got.

A huge, swooping mob of seagulls were hurtling after Nana and Zelda, squawking and shrieking, all wanting a taste of seafood. Or, more specifically, Claws.

Nana, shielding Claws with her small body, yelled, "Get your own pet crabs!"

Samus quickly took up a large piece of driftwood and aimed at the lead gull, leaning back, closing one eye, and hurled it, saying, "Nana, I hate to tell you, but seagulls don't keep pet crabs."

Peach, who was whisking the air with her parasol, getting ready to whack some seagulls, commented, "Yeah, they like to eat them in a special way- legs first, then they-"

Samus whipped around and brained a particularly bold gull on the head, and ducking another clever one. "Stop it Peach! You're going to give Nana nightmares, and I'll have to listen to it because my room is next to hers!"

"Next to hers?" demanded Peach, prodding gull feathers drifting down, oblivious to the battle in the skies and ground between Zelda and the gulls. "Mine's on the other side of the hall! She's going to open the door and run across and break mine down like last time!"

"What happened last time?" asked Samus curiously, also becoming less and less interested in the battle of birds and princess.

Peach explained, thumping a bird behind her out of reflex. "She had dreams that her favorite flavor of ice cream went out of stock at the local supermarket and it was replaced with low-fat yogurt. That time wasn't as bad as the time that she dreamed the Cookie Monster was eating her sheets-"

"CAN YOU TWO PLEASE HELP ME BECAUSE THIS ISN'T GETTING ANY EASIER!" screamed Zelda, beating off the offending birds.

"Well, I had this dream once that I was in a house completely made of purple marshmallows and the doors were covered in Cool Whip and I was watching Jerry Springer-" started Peach.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

(End chapter eight)

A/N Hehe. Cliffhanger. Well, not really. You all know what's going to happen. In a way.

Sledgehammer: Speak in longer sentences, will you? Ten or more syllables.

Me: Bite me.

(Sledgehammer slams head)

Me: Owww… reviews would help heal the wound! Pleeeasee…

Oh, another note… School's out::dances: WHEEEEE!

Review please!


	9. Fuel Fanatics

A/N Hayo the mayo! (Don't ask.) Well, I just might extend this chapter or add another one (making the total ten) but you never know. Keep your hopes up for another chapter!

Just a note (I really need to get this out) we just got our house painted and it has a REALLY sharp smell in the kitchen (where the computer is. Again, don't ask.) You know that fresh paint smell? Yeah, well, if you are ever lacking some, you can borrow some of ours.

Oh, about the 360-180 degrees thing, The Banana Gal (That is your name, right?), you are right- I am completely lame in math, and cannot do angles and that kind of stuff to save my life. Thank goodness we have people like you to catch these things::gives cheeze curls and packets of ramen: Oh, and for the rest of you guys… :assorted candy bars and soap on a rope:

Disclaimer: A loser in math, horrible at remembering things about the tides (see earlier chapter reviews) and types in a smelly kitchen… yep, that's me, the head of the Super Smash Brother corporation. Can't you tell::puffs out chest to look officious and coughs: Meep… that hurt. :attempts terrifying, loud laugh and chokes on spit: How do those villains do it::opens "How to be a villain and not hurt yourself" book: Interesting…

(Begin Chapter Nine)

Finally, after some screams and desperate cries from Zelda, Peach and Samus grudgingly abandoned their dream talk and went to help her fight off the gulls and guys.

However, the talk continued, this time discussing their diets. How the conversation got there, no one, not even Peach and Samus, knows.

"You see, I'm trying to lay off of the chocolate and maybe ease off the toffee and nuts," explained Samus as she whacked a rather vicious gull in the beak, and sent it squawking in the opposite direction… namely, Zelda.

"It's the carbs that get me," said Peach thoughtfully, "All that pasta Mario makes for me is killer, but after ten portions it all goes straight to my hips-"

"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO!" screamed Zelda, and swiftly ducked and executed a quick cuff to the oncoming bird, who was being batted around like a bouncy ball in the hand of an excited kindergartener.

Peach kicked an attacking male (a small, green-clad one) and commented, "Geez, when's the last time your took a good nap?"

"Judging by the lack of sleep all of us have had-" started Samus, then yelped. "Young Link! You just bit me!"

"I think that was Claws," observed Nana, who now had empty hands. "She needed some exercise."

"I didn't do anything," said Young Link, getting up and dusting some sand off of his green trunks. "You don't have a screwdriver on you do you?"

Samus screwed up her expression, looked thoughtful, and shook her head. "Nope, not for a while. Check Nana- she's always getting into the Master Hand's office and stealing reports off of his desk."

"Can you do that with a screwdriver?" asked Young Link, clearly oblivious to the chaos around him, with the gulls slamming into him and the screams from Zelda, who had transformed back into her true form.

Samus shrugged and belted a good one towards a shrieking gull who was eating her hair. "Dunno, but she always comes back from the office with a stack of reports on the Smashers and a screwdriver."

Young Link gestured towards Nana, and in the process of throwing out his hands, hit a seagull in the beak and knocked it aside, right into Zelda's face. "When can I talk to her?"

Samus squinted into the sea, noticing a flock of gulls coming their way. "Later, I suppose. We have guests."

Peach sniffed, clearly upset by the new visitors. "And I didn't even put the coffee out."

"Coffee?" asked Mario, popping up out of no where. Or, as Peach suspected, behind the giant pile of blankets that were Jigglypuff's bed and the girls shield.

"I was jo-" started Peach, but a huge, feathered wave slammed into her side and sent her flying, but before she hit the guys debating sand podiums, her parasol poofed out and saved her from a sandy defeat.

"RUN!" screamed Mario, and scattered towards the tent/castles. The other males followed, except for Young Link, who was drawing pictures of screwdrivers into the wet sand. Staring at the figures for a second, he looked up and said, "I wonder if I can get time off of the debates to work on it?"

The gulls turned and whacked into Young Link like a winged sledgehammer (strange image there) and sent the poor young boy flying towards the Ford territory.

Zelda threw herself into the pile of blankets and pillows, and a sudden squeak came from beneath her. Grabbing a tuft of hair, she yanked up, and was suddenly staring into a pair of wide, sleepy eyes.

Jigglypuff, yawning and blissfully oblivious to the raging battle about her, murmured a song, and Zelda felt her senses fade ad eyelids droop. "No! Bad cotton ball!" she yelled, but it was faint, and she slipped into a deep sleep, as did everyone else within a mile.

In the game, she has to soften her abilities, but in real life… get a pillow before you listen. Because you will hit the sack and be out for a while, and without comfort, a stiff neck will greet you when you wake up.

The seagulls, too, were affected, and dropped to the ground, wings curling beneath them, sleeping. All of the Smashers, upon hearing her snoozing song, fell into slumber.

Well, all except one, Nana. Grasping her pet crab, she had buried her head in the ground and not heard a note, and poked her gritty head out of the sand when the earth stopped trembling. Grinning in relief, she happily frolicked about the beach among the napping Smashers, bouncing about like a kid who had sucked down ten Cokes and three Snicker bars.

After a while, she got tired of frolicking and began to skip, and when skipping tired her, she sank down into the sand and thought about what to do.

Now, she could sleep- but she didn't want to be a conformist and sleep among the sleepers. She could set fire to the Ford and Toyota camps- but was too lazy.

Suddenly, the perfect idea came to her. It was like a light bulb that flickered to life in the attic- light shone brilliantly on her mind amidst all the dusty antiques.

Rubbing her hands together to get the sand off, she set down Claws on top of a sand mound and got to work.

(Two hours later)

Captain Falcon shifted, and blinked. "All right, let's go over this again."

Ganondorf nodded. "Our symbol is a Harley Davidson on fire, with two gas tanks and an unlit match near the bottom in alphabetical order."

Captain Falcon nodded. "Good, good…"

Gannondorf then picked up a torn sheet with the words 'Fuel Fanatics' scrawled across it in (stolen) purple Sharpie. "We shall wave this in battle."

Captain Falcon screwed up his face. "Uh, battle?"

Ganondorf shrugged. "I don't think there will be any battles- it just sounds kind of cool to say."

The racer nodded. "Sounds nice. And…" he said, picking up a sheet with a huge diagram of a car drawn on it. "This is our recruiting sheet. If they want to join, they write their name, favorite car part, favorite flavor of Starburst, and why they are joining Fuel Fanatics."

Ganondorf nodded seriously. "The Starburst flavor part, be sure to emphasize that."

Captain Falcon looked thoughtful, then scrawled a big circle around that in the list of directions of top of the sheet in stolen purple Sharpie. "There. Anything more?"

Ganondorf nodded. "I think we're done. Now let's go recruit some Fuel Fanatics!"

After a brief secret handshake, the two set off for the beach to draft their members.

Ganondorf and Captain Falcon chatted along the way, but stopped when they arrived at the beach.

Complete silence, absent of any sound, even snoring. In fact, the beach was also completely absent of…

"Where did all the Smashers go?" asked Ganondorf, furrowing his eyebrows, then resuming his normal look. Well, as normal as you could get with an evil villain like Ganondorf.

Captain Falcon pointed to the sea. "There."

There were bobbing bodies in the sea, the waves pushing them up and down gently.

Captain Falcon and Ganondorf exchanged looks.

"I guess we'll have to wait, then?" asked Ganondorf, looking somewhat disappointed.

Captain Falcon shrugged. "Oh well. This gives us more time to think about our new motto- 'Fuel is Fun' or 'We Support All Kinds Of Car Companies That Will Give Us Free Food', which sounds better?"

The two left again, talking more, and gesturing quite a bit, before Ganondorf commented, "You know, we should help them."

Casting slow glances over their shoulders, they muttered things like, "Yeah," and "They'd probably kill us if we didn't" and "I like 'We Support All Kinds Of Car Companies That Will Give Us Free Food' better".

They both took a deep breath, looked at each other, and said, "Nah," and trotted off (or frolicked, if you wish) towards their camp.

(In the sea)

Fox woke, and licked the salty water off of his muzzle. "Memo to self," he muttered. "Never fall asleep in the sea…" About to drift off again, he opened his eyes, and yelped, "NEVER FALL ASLEEP IN THE SEA!"

(End chapter nine)

A/N I'll make another chapter. It'll be the last though… :hands out handkerchiefs and brownies to sooth tears: But, in a way, consider it a bonus chapter!

I haven't much to say, except I might've called the sea the ocean a few times, or vice versa. It's a sea, but I might call it ocean on accident.

Well, read, review, and give Shadowsong money::crickets chirp: Ah hush, I don't except them to do the last part… though doing all three would be nice!


	10. Sleeping With the Fishes

A/N The last chapter:cries: A beautiful story gone…

Sledgehammer: It was ugly.

Me:whaps sledgehammer: That was mean:hides in corner and cries: I didn't even get any reviews for the last chapter! I must be a horrible authoress... :still cries:

Sledgehammer: I guess I'll be doing the rest of the talking and disclaimer. :hears crying: But you have to do the story!

Me:muffled sob:

Sledgehammer:shrug: That was weird. Well, anyone, one more chapter- and here it is. A sequel to this (or tri-quel to Camping Trip Of Doom) is coming, but not immediately. And maybe some other fics too :cough: WayfarerRedemptionANDPhantomOfTheOperaANDRedwall :cough: Did I get it right, Shadowsong?

Me:muffled nod, then snuffling:

Disclaimer:signs sheet of reports for Shadowsong, then begins reading out loud: The takeover of the Super Smash Brothers Melee and all incorporated will begin within a week. Refreshments will be served, and free shirts and hats will be given to all members. Number of members- three. Shadowsong, Sledgehammer, and cat found in the gutter. Until then, will say that we do not own Super Smash Brothers Melee. :nods: Sounds good, good…

(Begin Chapter Ten)

"WAKE UP!" howled Fox in a loud baritone that sounded strange coming from a member of the canine family.

Young Link jerked up, and blinked at the glaring sunlight. "What the-" he spluttered before sinking into the sea.

Pikachu and Pichu, not sure of what to do, panicked and shot out a wave of thundershock, and zapped everything in the water.

"ARRGHHH!" roared DK, and furiously begin swimming towards shore, or more like it, floundering towards shore. The rest of the male Smashers attempted to go towards shore also.

"This-" started Link, but ended with swearing in three different languages.

Mewtwo, who was using his psychic energy to propel himself towards land, commented, "Link, there are minors here…"

Links swore again, and whipped out his sword, and began using it as a sort of paddle to go forward in the water.

Young Link, Kirby, and Ness banded together and began moving towards land, blinking sleep out of their eyes while carrying on a conversation.

"How did we get this far out?" demanded Ness, blowing dried salt off of his lips, "And how did we not drown?"

Kirby emitted several squeaks and "Hi!"s, which Ness translated into, "The girls must've done it."

"But they were sleeping too," argued Young Link. "The only person who wasn't sleeping-"

"Captain Falcon and Ganondorf weren't either," mused Ness. "So they are possible suspects. And now that I think about it, we stayed afloat by our body weight and lack of clothing, since we're all in trunks."

"Bowser and DK don't wear trunks," debated Young Link, "The ape wears a tie and Bowser…"

Silence spread over the three males.

"Let's go to a different subject," said Young Link. "What do we do when we get back?"

"I plan on sleeping," said Kirby, translated by Ness. "That water bed wasn't the best. I liked the sand better."

Ness yawned. "True. I plan on reading a book I found- Relaxation Found In An Hour."

Young Link shook his head. "But don't we usually try to cream the people that did this to us?"

Ness gave a "Why?" look at his friend, then regretted it because Kirby took this as an opportunity to flick seawater into his eye. "Ouch! Well, I don't want to- those girls are nasty when provoked."

Young Link recalled past memories. "Yeah. I think I'll read the book I found on the beach- Finding Your Older Self."

Kirby laughed and snorted at the same time (a strange feat for a cotton ball) and muttered something. Ness translated. "He says just look at Link."

Young Link cast a wary glance at Link, who was heading back to shore with Marth and Roy. All three were complaining.

"When I get back, I'm going to toast that marshmallow Jigglypuff and give her to Epona!" raged Link, using the flat of his blade to propel himself through water.

"I was thinking about making a smore out of her and giving her to Bowser. He'll eat anything toasted." Roy mimicked toasting something over flames and throwing it to the floundering Bowser, who was teamed up with DK.

Marth laughed, and then said, "We should tie up the little ball of fluff and throw her into the sea. See how long she floats!"

"Judging by how long we floated, it would be a while," quipped Link.

Roy gave him a curious look. "How would you know? You were sleeping!"

Link raised his left arm, and showed a watch. "It stopped about half an hour ago- it's not waterproof- so we were in the water for that long."

"They have watches in Hyrule?" asked Marth. "What kinds?"

Link sighed. "I wish they did- I had trouble with keeping time there. I got this from Wal-Mart, in the clearance section."

After all the male Smashers got to land (some later than others- Doctor Mario attempted to perform CPR on Luigi, who had inhaled about three gallons of salt water and was hacking up a storm, and Dr. Mario hoped that CPR would clear up some of it. It was rather difficult in the water) they all crawled onto the beach and slept there for another few hours.

On the other side of camp, Nana was petting Claws and humming "Barbie Girl" to herself, while Zelda, Peach, and Jigglypuff were slowly waking up.

As soon as she was conscious, Zelda snapped at Jigglypuff, "Go over to the boys and apologize!"

Peach yawned. "Why? They tortured us, they deserve it!"

Samus scraped up some sand between her fingers and let it sink back into the ground. "Did anyone notice that the gulls are still here?"

And they were, just laying there, motionless except for the rise and fall of their chests with breathing and occasional squeak of a dream being spoken out loud.

Grudgingly, the girls dragged all the gulls out in a pile on the edge of the beach towards the parking lot. "This has been one heck of a week," grumbled Samus as she tossed a particularly large gull into the pile.

"Agree," said Zelda, hefting two over her shoulder, another in her hand.

Nana, Claws on her shoulder, picked up three and rather violently tossed them into the pile. "That's all of them," she said with satisfaction.

Jigglypuff, back from apologizing to the guys, waddled over.

"Let's go," said Peach wearily- from need for sleep, exhaustion, and simply because she felt like saying it in a tired way like they do in the movies all the time.

The ride back on bus and the Great Fox wasn't very eventful- Link read his book he found on the beach (Finding Your Inner Child) while Young Link, Ness, and Kirby (who had Laying Off The Sweets- The Guide To Eating Right) read theirs.

Zelda, Peach, Samus, Nana, and Jigglypuff stuffed themselves into the back row, and tried not to catch the driver's eyes as he glared at them for no real reason.

Captain Falcon and Ganondorf, somewhat disappointed that everyone else gave up doing the car thing, muttered about going online to do their club.

Finally, the bus pulled into the stop, and after getting off (all the girls hurriedly sped off the bus, and crashed into some passengers, attempting to avoid the driver) the Smashers headed towards their mansion.

The passengers on the Great Fox were already there, and were using up all the hot water in the showers. Peach screamed when the cold water hit her, and fainted. The girls let her soak for a while, and waited for her to wake up.

The Master Hand, rather displeased that they were back, attempted to hide it by offering them cookies he baked with his own hand.

They all declined, and as Fox said, "We prefer living."

(End Story)

A/N WAAAAAHHHHHH! MY STORY IS OVER! WAAAAHHHH!

Sledgehammer: What a baby.

Me:sniffle: Uh… well… do you have a tissue?

Sledgehammer:sighs and hands over box of Kleenex:

Me: Well, read, review… you know the drill. I might write another Smasher fic soon, but in case it's not for a while, I have a few others, including Cakes and Confetti, Camping Trip of Doom, Get to know each other, The Tournament, and Sleep Over. Until then… :waves and disappears: Thanks for reading!


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